This summer has been the craziest EVER in my life. Definitely God is refining through the fire and for that, I'm ever so grateful even though... it is pretty hard and painful at times.
So I was supposed to study for GREs after I was done with my schedule for today... but I decided to give myself a "break" (I give myself wayy too many breaksss HAHA) and the weather was TOO nice to be wasted. So I decided to take a drive to the beach cuz I've been just DYING to be thereee!!
I just went! And everything was just PERFECT! Sigh.. it was right before sunset so I got to enjoy enough of the SUN and just the SUMMERYNESS of the beach <3 I just took a walk for an hour (well, not by choice but only cuz I parked really far and had to go the restroom near the pier -__-). Sometimes, it amazes me.. how much fun I can have by myself! talking to myself (and God) and watching people, especially BABIES and familiesssss <3 hahah they always make me smile. AND dogs too. and old couples. hehhe.. Anyhow, I'm at starbucks now.. should be studying but don't want to and it's just wayy too cold to be studying =P I just had to jot down some things that I wanted to do after I'm done with the whole grad school apps, ESP BEFORE THE SUMMER IS OVER! I cant believe summer is over. I rarely got to enjoy it =( BUT its not YET over! Sooo here's my list of things to do while summer is still here:
1. GO TO THE BEACH AND BE A BEACH BUM ALL DAY =P
2. Learn how to surf (always wanted to but i highly doubt i can LEARn before summers over)
3. Cliffdiving!!
4. Bike to the beach and just cruiseeeee by the shore =)
5. Watch 500 days of summer (ive seen wayy too many ppls status about this movie!)
6. Go on a drive to somewhere kinda far by myself (sd? sb? ionno..)
7. Go on a trip. by myself? with family? with friends?
8. Read children's books for FUN (& for work)
9. Go to starbucks, its a grind, library, borders FOR FUN (instead of "for studying")
10. Meet up catch up with friends.. play with peopleeeeeee (not by myself =P)
Some are definitely doable.. and some, I will definitely face some obstacles but whateverrrrrr~ I just want to enjoy LIFE, this LIFE HE'S given me. I really am learning to LOVE IT (and HIM of course) even though its hard. But when I go to these places, I am torn. Seeing these people makes me want to live a normal, "GOOD" life, or the life I've always dreamed of... have the "perfect family," having one boy and one girl, growing more and more in love as I age with my husband, love my career and make GOOD money, yet still know how to give to others. I am pretty sure such "perfect" families don't really exist, but I always thought even just being able to have those "perfect moments" would be enough. But definitely God has been changing me and that may be very far from the life that may be ahead of me and the strange thing is I'm okay. I'm okay to let go of that dream and to live the life that God would want me to live.. whereas before I would be like HECK NO... no wayy.. but yeah, all I can say is.. God is good and I want to live for Him.
God has definitely been using this song to speak to me:
"Fearfully and Wonderfully Made"
by Matt Redman
So fearfully and wonderfully made
How could they say there is no God?
Reminded every breath that I take
It's by Your Hand I have been formed
So what am I going to do with this life You gave me?
What could I do but live for Your priase?
You gave me this breath
And You gave me this strength
Everyday I'll live to obey You
With all of my heart,
With all of my soul
Let every breath I'm breathing display You God
There´s elegance in all you create
Your grand designs leave us amaze
The wonders of the way we´ve been made
Speak of Your power, tell of Your grace
So what am I going to do with this life You gave me?
What could I do but live for Your praise?
So what am I going to do with this life You gave me?
What am I going to do with this life?
What I am I going to do in these days You´ve ordained?
What am I going to do with this life?
Psalm 139
Okay, no studying today. It's TOO cold here. HAHA I'm going home. Goodbye!
Oh, I forgot to list this on the list:
11. SNOWBOARDING (i know it's not a summer thing.. but I should plan ahead!!)
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Childlike Faith
"Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."
- Mark 10:15
So I didn't quite understand what it means to have childlike faith. I understood that it was about simply trusting God, but knew nothing more or less. As I have been interacting with many children, God has been making this phrase and that verse clearer for me. It is quite amazing to see when these children LISTEN to you just because you are their "teacher." Honestly, I can be saying heretical things at church (pray that I would NEVER..!! Matthew 18:6), and they would still believe it because I said so. Wow, it is a very humbling experience because.. really, who am I that they trust me with all the things that I teach them? And even crazier is the fact that they will believe my words and OBEY. If we are going to memorize a verse, that is what they will do; if I tell them they are not allowed to eat the snacks right now, they won't eat it; if I told them we are playing this (stupid) game I made up, they will play...
Of course there are those that don't listen to you right away. Their first reaction to a command is "NO", but what is soooo cool about serving as a teacher in children's ministry is that, they will LISTEN eventually. HAHA. Seriously, even the most rebellious child will listen to you sooner or later (Definitely within the span of the Bible study class if not within like 3 minutes!!).
I have several "troublemakers" in my Bible study class, and I have been having to have one of them stay after class to have a "talk" with me. I ask them why they did do what they did and ask them what they think they should do, according to the Bible. It is truly amazing to see that what the Bible says they should do, they KNOW they should do it without questioning. For example, one kid was saying mean things about another kid, so I had a talk with him after class. He told me how that other kid had gotten him in trouble at school. And we came to agree that he should forgive... because the BIBLE says so! And no other reason was needed but just that-that God wants you to forgive. How many times do I not do things even though I KNOW God wants me to do certain things? How many times do I question God WHY He would want me to do certain things? Too many to count. Many times, I just need to learn from these children: learn to trust, taking God's Word as it is, and obey.
And the love they show me... is truly undeserved. Some of the girls always wait for me at the playground to go back to the church together when I had to stay after class to have a talk with a student. And they run to me and tell me that they were waiting for me. Then as we walk back together they tell me all these things about their school, their sleepover, etc. Ahh, I don't deserve it. Sometimes these things get to me to make me prideful to think that I am doing a "good job" as a teacher, but God definitely is gracious because I was very... embarassed today due to my lack of preparation, a humbling experience indeed. So, all in all to say that God is GOOD so I just need to trust and obey.. and LOVE HIM! =)
- Mark 10:15
So I didn't quite understand what it means to have childlike faith. I understood that it was about simply trusting God, but knew nothing more or less. As I have been interacting with many children, God has been making this phrase and that verse clearer for me. It is quite amazing to see when these children LISTEN to you just because you are their "teacher." Honestly, I can be saying heretical things at church (pray that I would NEVER..!! Matthew 18:6), and they would still believe it because I said so. Wow, it is a very humbling experience because.. really, who am I that they trust me with all the things that I teach them? And even crazier is the fact that they will believe my words and OBEY. If we are going to memorize a verse, that is what they will do; if I tell them they are not allowed to eat the snacks right now, they won't eat it; if I told them we are playing this (stupid) game I made up, they will play...
Of course there are those that don't listen to you right away. Their first reaction to a command is "NO", but what is soooo cool about serving as a teacher in children's ministry is that, they will LISTEN eventually. HAHA. Seriously, even the most rebellious child will listen to you sooner or later (Definitely within the span of the Bible study class if not within like 3 minutes!!).
I have several "troublemakers" in my Bible study class, and I have been having to have one of them stay after class to have a "talk" with me. I ask them why they did do what they did and ask them what they think they should do, according to the Bible. It is truly amazing to see that what the Bible says they should do, they KNOW they should do it without questioning. For example, one kid was saying mean things about another kid, so I had a talk with him after class. He told me how that other kid had gotten him in trouble at school. And we came to agree that he should forgive... because the BIBLE says so! And no other reason was needed but just that-that God wants you to forgive. How many times do I not do things even though I KNOW God wants me to do certain things? How many times do I question God WHY He would want me to do certain things? Too many to count. Many times, I just need to learn from these children: learn to trust, taking God's Word as it is, and obey.
And the love they show me... is truly undeserved. Some of the girls always wait for me at the playground to go back to the church together when I had to stay after class to have a talk with a student. And they run to me and tell me that they were waiting for me. Then as we walk back together they tell me all these things about their school, their sleepover, etc. Ahh, I don't deserve it. Sometimes these things get to me to make me prideful to think that I am doing a "good job" as a teacher, but God definitely is gracious because I was very... embarassed today due to my lack of preparation, a humbling experience indeed. So, all in all to say that God is GOOD so I just need to trust and obey.. and LOVE HIM! =)
Kyle from VBS wrote this.. you can see him in the corner! <3
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Only in Christ can I find peace in confusion.. many things just don't make sense to me in this life but I am okay not understanding it because I know that my God is sovereign over it all. This summer has just been very challenging unlike any other, but definitely God is teaching me to be at peace at all times and find reasons to rejoice and give thanks always. Living in light of the gospel. I have to... If not, I don't know where I would be...
"Fear not for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
- Isaiah 41:10
God is good.
"Fear not for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
- Isaiah 41:10
God is good.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Singing I Go Along Life's Road
The trusting heart to Jesus clings,
Nor any ill forebodes,
But at the cross of Calv’ry sings,
Praise God for lifted loads!
Singing I go along life’s road,
Praising the Lord, praising the Lord,
Singing I go along life’s road,
For Jesus has lifted my load.
The passing days bring many cares,
“Fear not,” I hear Him say,
And when my fears are turned to prayers,
The burdens slip away.
He tells me of my Father’s love,
And never slumb’ring eye,
My everlasting King above
Will all my needs supply.
When to the throne of grace I flee,
I find the promise true,
The mighty arms upholding me
Will bear my burdens too.
주 안에 있는 나에게
주 안에 있는 나에게 딴 근심 있으랴
십자가 밑에 나아가 내 짐을 풀었네
주님을 찬송하면서 할렐루야 할렐루야
내 앞 길 멀고 험해도 나 주님만 따라가리
그 두려움이 변하여 내 기도 되었고
전날의 한숨 변하여 내 노래 되었네
내 주는 자비하셔서 늘 함께 계시고
내 궁핍함을 아시고 늘 채워 주시네
내 주와 맺은 언약은 영 불변하시니
그 나라 가기까지는 늘 보호하시네
I love hymns!
First I heard this hymn in Korean then looked it up in English. The translation makes it a bit differnt from one another but I like it both. Definitely this song encouraged to pray more about my worries and fears. =]
The trusting heart to Jesus clings,
Nor any ill forebodes,
But at the cross of Calv’ry sings,
Praise God for lifted loads!
Singing I go along life’s road,
Praising the Lord, praising the Lord,
Singing I go along life’s road,
For Jesus has lifted my load.
The passing days bring many cares,
“Fear not,” I hear Him say,
And when my fears are turned to prayers,
The burdens slip away.
He tells me of my Father’s love,
And never slumb’ring eye,
My everlasting King above
Will all my needs supply.
When to the throne of grace I flee,
I find the promise true,
The mighty arms upholding me
Will bear my burdens too.
주 안에 있는 나에게
주 안에 있는 나에게 딴 근심 있으랴
십자가 밑에 나아가 내 짐을 풀었네
주님을 찬송하면서 할렐루야 할렐루야
내 앞 길 멀고 험해도 나 주님만 따라가리
그 두려움이 변하여 내 기도 되었고
전날의 한숨 변하여 내 노래 되었네
내 주는 자비하셔서 늘 함께 계시고
내 궁핍함을 아시고 늘 채워 주시네
내 주와 맺은 언약은 영 불변하시니
그 나라 가기까지는 늘 보호하시네
I love hymns!
First I heard this hymn in Korean then looked it up in English. The translation makes it a bit differnt from one another but I like it both. Definitely this song encouraged to pray more about my worries and fears. =]
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