I read it from C.J. Mahaney's blog. Something to think about.
The days before Christmas can be a tiring season of preparation, planning, shopping, and wrapping. But I think as we prepare for the Christmas celebrations, dinners, travel, and gift giving, it’s equally important that we pause and prepare our souls for Christmas.
During this time of year, it may be easy to forget that the bigger purpose behind Bethlehem was Calvary. But the purpose of the manger was realized in the horrors of the cross. The purpose of his birth was his death.
Or to put it more personally: Christmas is necessary because I am a sinner. The incarnation reminds us of our desperate condition before a holy God.
Several years ago WORLD Magazine published a column by William H. Smith with the provocative title, “Christmas is disturbing: Any real understanding of the Christmas messages will disturb anyone” (Dec. 26, 1992).
In part, Smith wrote:
"Many people who otherwise ignore God and the church have some religious feeling, or feel they ought to, at this time of the year. So they make their way to a church service or Christmas program. And when they go, they come away feeling vaguely warmed or at least better for having gone, but not disturbed.
Why aren’t people disturbed by Christmas? One reason is our tendency to sanitize the birth narratives. We romanticize the story of Mary and Joseph rather than deal with the painful dilemma they faced when the Lord chose Mary to be the virgin who would conceive her child by the power of the Holy Spirit. We beautify the birth scene, not coming to terms with the stench of the stable, the poverty of the parents, the hostility of Herod. Don’t miss my point. There is something truly comforting and warming about the Christmas story, but it comes from understanding the reality, not from denying it.
Most of us also have not come to terms with the baby in the manger. We sing, “Glory to the newborn King.” But do we truly recognize that the baby lying in the manger is appointed by God to be the King, to be either the Savior or Judge of all people? He is a most threatening person.
Malachi foresaw his coming and said, “But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap.” As long as we can keep him in the manger, and feel the sentimental feelings we have for babies, Jesus doesn’t disturb us. But once we understand that his coming means for every one of us either salvation or condemnation, he disturbs us deeply.
What should be just as disturbing is the awful work Christ had to do to accomplish the salvation of his people. Yet his very name, Jesus, testifies to us of that work.
That baby was born so that “he who had no sin” would become “sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” The baby’s destiny from the moment of his conception was hell—hell in the place of sinners. When I look into the manger, I come away shaken as I realize again that he was born to pay the unbearable penalty for my sins.
That’s the message of Christmas: God reconciled the world to himself through Christ, man’s sin has alienated him from God, and man’s reconciliation with God is possible only through faith in Christ…Christmas is disturbing."
Don’t get me wrong—Christmas should be a wonderful celebration. Properly understood, the message of Christmas confronts before it comforts, it disturbs before it delights.
The purpose of Christ’s birth was to live a sinless life, suffer as our substitute on the cross, satisfy the wrath of God, defeat death, and secure our forgiveness and salvation.
Christmas is about God the Father (the offended party) taking the initiative to send his only begotten Son to offer his life as the atoning sacrifice for our sins, so that we might be forgiven for our many sins.
As Smith so fitly concludes his column:
"Only those who have been profoundly disturbed to the point of deep repentance are able to receive the tidings of comfort, peace, and joy that Christmas proclaims."
Amen and Merry Christmas!
http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/blogs/cj-mahaney/post/2010/12/17/Disturbing-Christmas.aspx
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, whch surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
- Philippians 4:4-7
He is good. His love endures FOREVER.
There's always something to be joyful, thankful, and prayerful about...
- Philippians 4:4-7
He is good. His love endures FOREVER.
There's always something to be joyful, thankful, and prayerful about...
Friday, December 3, 2010
Christ Our King Was Born!
For some reason (I'm guessing it's for some GOOD reason), I'm in the Christmas spirit this year. And never was I amazed by the birth of Christ. The King of Glory, the Everylasting Lord, the Creator of all, left all His glory above, being the Only One who chose to be born...
Recently I learned about the amazing conception of Jesus. Imagine the very moment the womb of Mary conceiving the Seed of God by the Holy Spirit. Never had a virgin given birth. Never had a woman given birth to the Son of God. The eternal God becoming Immanuel, God with us, forever to dwell with us through Christ. The angels praised the Lord for such a miracle. He chose to come as a helpless babe, living a life of faith.
And learned about the faith of Mary.. When the angel told her that she will conceive and bear the Son of the Most High, in her "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word (Luke 1:38)." No wonder Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, exclaimed, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb (Luke 1:42)!"
Christ, by highest heaven adored,
Christ, the Everlasting Lord!
Late in time, behold Him come,
Offspring of the Virgin's womb.
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see;
Heal th' Incarnate Deity,
Pleased as man with men to dwell,
Jesus our Emmanuel.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King."
Hail the heav'nborn Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings,
Risen with healing in His wings.
Mild He lays His glory by,
Born that man no more may die,
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King."
Recently I learned about the amazing conception of Jesus. Imagine the very moment the womb of Mary conceiving the Seed of God by the Holy Spirit. Never had a virgin given birth. Never had a woman given birth to the Son of God. The eternal God becoming Immanuel, God with us, forever to dwell with us through Christ. The angels praised the Lord for such a miracle. He chose to come as a helpless babe, living a life of faith.
And learned about the faith of Mary.. When the angel told her that she will conceive and bear the Son of the Most High, in her "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word (Luke 1:38)." No wonder Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, exclaimed, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb (Luke 1:42)!"
Love love loooove the truth the hymns proclaim!
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King;
Peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!"
Joyful, all ye nations, rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With th'angelic host problaim,
"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King."
Christ, by highest heaven adored,
Christ, the Everlasting Lord!
Late in time, behold Him come,
Offspring of the Virgin's womb.
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see;
Heal th' Incarnate Deity,
Pleased as man with men to dwell,
Jesus our Emmanuel.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King."
Hail the heav'nborn Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings,
Risen with healing in His wings.
Mild He lays His glory by,
Born that man no more may die,
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King."
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Joy to the World
Today I was reading at Starbucks when I saw this guy come in. I overheard his conversation with other people since he sat right behind me. It was so pleasant; he was so willing to help others and so thankful for the smallest things--he thanked the guy across the table for letting him sit there. I just thought to myself that he was such a nice guy. Then when I was leaving, he was leaving as well and handed me these little pieces of papers telling me that he saw me reading the Bible and that I might enjoy these. They were Christian cartoons. HAHA. Honestly they weren't the funniest cartoons (these were the same ones I used to use for children's minitry), but it was really good to know that someone who is able to put smiles on those around him is a believer. If every believer lived bringing these small glimpses of true joy to the world, how different this world would be!
God called His children to be light in the world, to shine the Light of Jesus Christ. Christians should be the ones bringing the glimpse of true joy, true peace, true hope, and true love. But really, do Christians shed the Light to this world this day? Rather, they seek joy, peace, hope, and love in this world.
I've been reading this book called Spiritual Depression hoping to find some wise guidance about this particular condition. To my surprise, this book deals with not just those who suffer so-called depression, but it deals with "miserable christians," calling what an oxymoron that term is, yet sadly true of many. On the back of the book quotes Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones, the author of the book, which says, "Christian people too often seem to be perpetually in the doldrums and too often give the appearance of unhappiness and lack of freedom and absence of joy. There is no question at all but that this is the main reason why large numbers of people have ceased to be interested in Christianity."
May His children show the world the only true joy that God Himself came down to give to His beloved!
God called His children to be light in the world, to shine the Light of Jesus Christ. Christians should be the ones bringing the glimpse of true joy, true peace, true hope, and true love. But really, do Christians shed the Light to this world this day? Rather, they seek joy, peace, hope, and love in this world.
I've been reading this book called Spiritual Depression hoping to find some wise guidance about this particular condition. To my surprise, this book deals with not just those who suffer so-called depression, but it deals with "miserable christians," calling what an oxymoron that term is, yet sadly true of many. On the back of the book quotes Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones, the author of the book, which says, "Christian people too often seem to be perpetually in the doldrums and too often give the appearance of unhappiness and lack of freedom and absence of joy. There is no question at all but that this is the main reason why large numbers of people have ceased to be interested in Christianity."
May His children show the world the only true joy that God Himself came down to give to His beloved!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
나 같은 죄인 살리신
나 같은 죄인 살리신 주 은혜 놀라와
잃었던 생명 찾았고 광명을 얻었네
큰 죄악에서 건지신 주 은혜 놀라와
나 처음 믿은 그 시간 귀하고 귀하다
이제껏 내가 산것도 주님의 은혜라
또 나를 장차 존향에 인도해 주시리
거기서우리 영원히 주님의 은혜로
해처럼 밝게 살면서 주 찬양 하리라
Maybe my ears got too used to the English version of Amazing Grace, or I am just really a lot more Korean than American... When I sing this song in Korean, it moves me like no other..
잃었던 생명 찾았고 광명을 얻었네
큰 죄악에서 건지신 주 은혜 놀라와
나 처음 믿은 그 시간 귀하고 귀하다
이제껏 내가 산것도 주님의 은혜라
또 나를 장차 존향에 인도해 주시리
거기서우리 영원히 주님의 은혜로
해처럼 밝게 살면서 주 찬양 하리라
Maybe my ears got too used to the English version of Amazing Grace, or I am just really a lot more Korean than American... When I sing this song in Korean, it moves me like no other..
Saturday, November 20, 2010
The Forgiveness of God
from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
"In Him we have . . . the forgiveness of sins . . . " —Ephesians 1:7
Beware of the pleasant view of the fatherhood of God: God is so kind and loving that of course He will forgive us. That thought, based solely on emotion, cannot be found anywhere in the New Testament. The only basis on which God can forgive us is the tremendous tragedy of the Cross of Christ. To base our forgiveness on any other ground is unconscious blasphemy. The only ground on which God can forgive our sin and reinstate us to His favor is through the Cross of Christ. There is no other way! Forgiveness, which is so easy for us to accept, cost the agony at Calvary. We should never take the forgiveness of sin, the gift of the Holy Spirit, and our sanctification in simple faith, and then forget the enormous cost to God that made all of this ours.
Forgiveness is the divine miracle of grace. The cost to God was the Cross of Christ. To forgive sin, while remaining a holy God, this price had to be paid. Never accept a view of the fatherhood of God if it blots out the atonement. The revealed truth of God is that without the atonement He cannot forgive— He would contradict His nature if He did. The only way we can be forgiven is by being brought back to God through the atonement of the Cross. God’s forgiveness is possible only in the supernatural realm.
Compared with the miracle of the forgiveness of sin, the experience of sanctification is small. Sanctification is simply the wonderful expression or evidence of the forgiveness of sins in a human life. But the thing that awakens the deepest fountain of gratitude in a human being is that God has forgiven his sin. Paul never got away from this. Once you realize all that it cost God to forgive you, you will be held as in a vise, constrained by the love of God.
http://utmost.org/
"In Him we have . . . the forgiveness of sins . . . " —Ephesians 1:7
Beware of the pleasant view of the fatherhood of God: God is so kind and loving that of course He will forgive us. That thought, based solely on emotion, cannot be found anywhere in the New Testament. The only basis on which God can forgive us is the tremendous tragedy of the Cross of Christ. To base our forgiveness on any other ground is unconscious blasphemy. The only ground on which God can forgive our sin and reinstate us to His favor is through the Cross of Christ. There is no other way! Forgiveness, which is so easy for us to accept, cost the agony at Calvary. We should never take the forgiveness of sin, the gift of the Holy Spirit, and our sanctification in simple faith, and then forget the enormous cost to God that made all of this ours.
Forgiveness is the divine miracle of grace. The cost to God was the Cross of Christ. To forgive sin, while remaining a holy God, this price had to be paid. Never accept a view of the fatherhood of God if it blots out the atonement. The revealed truth of God is that without the atonement He cannot forgive— He would contradict His nature if He did. The only way we can be forgiven is by being brought back to God through the atonement of the Cross. God’s forgiveness is possible only in the supernatural realm.
Compared with the miracle of the forgiveness of sin, the experience of sanctification is small. Sanctification is simply the wonderful expression or evidence of the forgiveness of sins in a human life. But the thing that awakens the deepest fountain of gratitude in a human being is that God has forgiven his sin. Paul never got away from this. Once you realize all that it cost God to forgive you, you will be held as in a vise, constrained by the love of God.
http://utmost.org/
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Let the Words of My Mouth...
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." - Ephesians 4:29
God has been showing me how DIRTY my mouth is!! Okay, it's not that I use profanity or anything, but I speak so many words that do not build up, that do not fit the occasion, that do not give grace to those who hear...
And reading this was kinda scary.
"You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of your heart the mouth speaks... I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - Matthew 12:34, 36-37
Boy, every careless word!! And guess what? My corrupting talk is the matter of the heart. My heart!! Condemned by your own words?! Ahh..
But there is of course a BUT =) When Isaiah saw the LORD, He realized his unworthiness, his unclean lips. But Isaiah speaks of hope for those with unclean lips.
"Woe me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!" Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: 'Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.'" - Isaiah 6:5-7
Through the sacrifice on the altar, Isaiah's lips were made clean; his sin atoned for. Through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, my lips were made clean; my sin atoned for. Thank You Jesus!
"assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."
- Ephesians 4:21-24
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer."
- Psalm 19:14
God has been showing me how DIRTY my mouth is!! Okay, it's not that I use profanity or anything, but I speak so many words that do not build up, that do not fit the occasion, that do not give grace to those who hear...
And reading this was kinda scary.
"You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of your heart the mouth speaks... I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - Matthew 12:34, 36-37
Boy, every careless word!! And guess what? My corrupting talk is the matter of the heart. My heart!! Condemned by your own words?! Ahh..
But there is of course a BUT =) When Isaiah saw the LORD, He realized his unworthiness, his unclean lips. But Isaiah speaks of hope for those with unclean lips.
"Woe me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!" Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: 'Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.'" - Isaiah 6:5-7
Through the sacrifice on the altar, Isaiah's lips were made clean; his sin atoned for. Through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, my lips were made clean; my sin atoned for. Thank You Jesus!
"assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."
- Ephesians 4:21-24
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer."
- Psalm 19:14
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
"Blessed is the one who trusts in You!"
"My son, do not forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commandments,
for length of days and years of life
and peace they will add to you.
Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
bind them around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good success
in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones.
Honor the LORD with your wealth
and with the firstfruits of all your produce
then your barns will be filled with plenty,
and your vats will be bursting with wine.
My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
or be weary of his reproof,
for the LORD repoves him whom he loves,
as a father the son in whom he delights."
- Proverbs 3
"O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!" - Psalm 84:12
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Good Morning!
What a beautiful morning! "This is the day that the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
- Psalm 118:23
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
- Psalm 118:23
I've never seen the green grass so pale!
Oh, the blinding light of the sun,
How much more glorious is He!
"...God is light..." - 1 John 1:5
"...Walk as children of light." - Ephesians 5:8
"...Walk as children of light." - Ephesians 5:8
"For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withold
from those who walk uprightly.
O LORD of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you!"
- Psalm 84:11-12
- Psalm 84:11-12
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Hymn: I Know Not Why God's Wondrous Grace
I know not why God's wondrous grace
To me He hath made known,
Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
Redeemed me for His own.
But "I know Whom I have believed
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I've committed
Unto Him against that day."
I know not how this saving faith
To me He did impart,
Nor how believing in His word
Wrought peace within my heart.
I know not how the Spirit moves,
Convincing men of sin,
Revealing Jesus through the Word,
Creating faith in Him.
I know not what of good or ill
May be reserved for me,
Of weary ways or golden days,
Before His face I see.
I know not when my Lord may come,
At night or noon-day fair,
Nor if I'll walk the vale with Him,
Or "meet Him in the air."
"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'-yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.'"
- James 4:13-15
"O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreaths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!"
- Psalm 39:4-5
YET,
"When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?"
- Psalm 8:3-4
"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"
- Romans 8:31-32
Time is a gift.
Life is a gift.
God is the Giver of them all.
- James 4:13-15
"O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreaths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!"
- Psalm 39:4-5
YET,
"When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?"
- Psalm 8:3-4
"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"
- Romans 8:31-32
Time is a gift.
Life is a gift.
God is the Giver of them all.
Monday, November 1, 2010
"I want to encourage all believers to get into the habit of rising early to meet with God. How much time should be allowed for rest? No rule of universal application can be given because all persons do not require the same amount of sleep. Also the same persons, at different times, according to the strength or weakness of their body, may require more or less. Most doctors agree that healthy men do not require more than between six or seven hours of sleep, and females need no more than seven or eight hours.
Children of God should be careful not to allow themselves too little sleep since few men can do with less than six hours of sleep and still be well in body and mind. As a young man, before I went to the university,I went to bed regularly at ten and rose at four, studied hard, and was in good health. Since I have allowed myself only about seven hours, I have been much better in body and in nerves than when I slept eight or eight and a half hours in bed.
Someone may ask, "But why should I rise early?" To remain too long in bed is a waste of time. Wasting time is unbecoming a saint who is bought by the precious blood of Jesus. His time and all he has is to be used for the Lord. If we sleep more than is necessary for the refreshment of the body, it is wasting the time the Lord has entrusted us to be used for His glory, for our own benefit, and for the benefit of the saints and unbelievers around us.
Just as too much food injures the body, the same is true regarding sleep. Medical persons would readily agree that lying longer in bed than is necessary to strengthen the body actually weakens it.
It also injures the soul. Lying too long in bed not merely keeps us from giving the most precious part of the day to prayer and meditation, but this sloth leads also to many other evils. Anyone who spends one, two, or three hours in prayer and meditation before breakfast will soon discover the beneficial effect early rising has on the outward and inward man.
It may be said, "But how shall I set about rising early?" My advice is: Do not delay. Begin tomorrow. But do not depend on your own strength. You may have begun to rise early in the past but have given it up. If you depend on your own strength in this matter, it will come to nothing. In every good work, we must depend on the Lord. If anyone rises so that he may give the time which takes from sleep to prayer and meditation, let him be sure that Satan will try to put obstacles in the way.
Trust in the Lord for help. You will honor Him if you expect help from Him in this matter. Pray for help, expect help, and you will have it. In addition to this, go to bed early. If you stay up late, you cannot rise early. Let no pressure of engagements keep you from going habitually early to bed. If you fail in this, you neither can nor should get up early because your body requires rest.
Rise at once when you are awake. Remain not a minute longer in bed or else you are likely to fall asleep again. Do not be discouraged by feeling drowsy and tired from rising ealry. This will soon wear off. After a few days you will feel stronger and fresher than when you used to lie an hour or two longer than you needed. Always allow yourself the same hours for sleep. Make no change except on account of sickness."
- from The Autobiography of George Muller
Children of God should be careful not to allow themselves too little sleep since few men can do with less than six hours of sleep and still be well in body and mind. As a young man, before I went to the university,I went to bed regularly at ten and rose at four, studied hard, and was in good health. Since I have allowed myself only about seven hours, I have been much better in body and in nerves than when I slept eight or eight and a half hours in bed.
Someone may ask, "But why should I rise early?" To remain too long in bed is a waste of time. Wasting time is unbecoming a saint who is bought by the precious blood of Jesus. His time and all he has is to be used for the Lord. If we sleep more than is necessary for the refreshment of the body, it is wasting the time the Lord has entrusted us to be used for His glory, for our own benefit, and for the benefit of the saints and unbelievers around us.
Just as too much food injures the body, the same is true regarding sleep. Medical persons would readily agree that lying longer in bed than is necessary to strengthen the body actually weakens it.
It also injures the soul. Lying too long in bed not merely keeps us from giving the most precious part of the day to prayer and meditation, but this sloth leads also to many other evils. Anyone who spends one, two, or three hours in prayer and meditation before breakfast will soon discover the beneficial effect early rising has on the outward and inward man.
It may be said, "But how shall I set about rising early?" My advice is: Do not delay. Begin tomorrow. But do not depend on your own strength. You may have begun to rise early in the past but have given it up. If you depend on your own strength in this matter, it will come to nothing. In every good work, we must depend on the Lord. If anyone rises so that he may give the time which takes from sleep to prayer and meditation, let him be sure that Satan will try to put obstacles in the way.
Trust in the Lord for help. You will honor Him if you expect help from Him in this matter. Pray for help, expect help, and you will have it. In addition to this, go to bed early. If you stay up late, you cannot rise early. Let no pressure of engagements keep you from going habitually early to bed. If you fail in this, you neither can nor should get up early because your body requires rest.
Rise at once when you are awake. Remain not a minute longer in bed or else you are likely to fall asleep again. Do not be discouraged by feeling drowsy and tired from rising ealry. This will soon wear off. After a few days you will feel stronger and fresher than when you used to lie an hour or two longer than you needed. Always allow yourself the same hours for sleep. Make no change except on account of sickness."
- from The Autobiography of George Muller
Random Encouragements
Again, this is one of those many drafts that I had that I never published..
1. While I was volunteering at a hospital last year, an old grandpa would always come in for occupational therapy, along with a younger guy, who I assumed would be his son, on crutches. He always walked in with a big smile on his face, greeting all those around him and responding to a how are you with "I'm blessed!" At first I was a bit startled at this unusal answer to a habitual greeting, unable to reproduce quickly another moment-stopping reply but "that's good." About the third time I saw him, he threw me a piece of coin, on which had John 3:16 on it. Then I had the guts to tell him how encouraged I was, and he told me that he's a part of bikers for Christ, which I thought was funny/cute. Then later I saw that he talked to my supervisor and was able to bring in bunch of Bibles to put the onto the bookshelf for patients/visitors to read...
2. One day I had some minutes to kill before tutor started so stopped by a clothing store on the way. It's a Korean owned small boutique. No one was there but the owner and another worker. As I was browsing I couldn't help but listen to their conversation (it was loud and in Korean = it just comes to me). Anyhow, the owner was talking about how prayer freed her daughter from the stress of studying, and how she had to repent herself because of pushing her to the road of achievement or else... And goes onto the lives of people who go to church, and only live as chrisitans on Sunday, that there aren't too many that live out their christian lives. She said that neighbors aren't too far; her way of loving neighbors is praying for everyone who walks in the door of her store, whether they buy or not. That, knowing that I had been prayed for, was rather comforting? encouraging.
3. Again at the volunteer, there was an old patient who just had surgery on his head. He had not recovered fully from the surgery that his memory was failing him quite often. He was a Spanish speaker so with the little that I knew, I tried to have a conversation with him and soon got to assist an occupational therapist with his treatment, which at this time was to read. The patient wanted to read his bible, so someone brought it over and... it was just awesome to see how he prayed before reading the Word and that was what he desired to do: read and pray despite the cognitive difficulties he was experiencing..
4. I was reading the Bible in front of a Starbucks and this white lady with her family passed by. Then she comes back to say that it's good to see me reading the Word of God =) Made me want to read more and more and MORE! =D
5. Many more to come...
1. While I was volunteering at a hospital last year, an old grandpa would always come in for occupational therapy, along with a younger guy, who I assumed would be his son, on crutches. He always walked in with a big smile on his face, greeting all those around him and responding to a how are you with "I'm blessed!" At first I was a bit startled at this unusal answer to a habitual greeting, unable to reproduce quickly another moment-stopping reply but "that's good." About the third time I saw him, he threw me a piece of coin, on which had John 3:16 on it. Then I had the guts to tell him how encouraged I was, and he told me that he's a part of bikers for Christ, which I thought was funny/cute. Then later I saw that he talked to my supervisor and was able to bring in bunch of Bibles to put the onto the bookshelf for patients/visitors to read...
2. One day I had some minutes to kill before tutor started so stopped by a clothing store on the way. It's a Korean owned small boutique. No one was there but the owner and another worker. As I was browsing I couldn't help but listen to their conversation (it was loud and in Korean = it just comes to me). Anyhow, the owner was talking about how prayer freed her daughter from the stress of studying, and how she had to repent herself because of pushing her to the road of achievement or else... And goes onto the lives of people who go to church, and only live as chrisitans on Sunday, that there aren't too many that live out their christian lives. She said that neighbors aren't too far; her way of loving neighbors is praying for everyone who walks in the door of her store, whether they buy or not. That, knowing that I had been prayed for, was rather comforting? encouraging.
3. Again at the volunteer, there was an old patient who just had surgery on his head. He had not recovered fully from the surgery that his memory was failing him quite often. He was a Spanish speaker so with the little that I knew, I tried to have a conversation with him and soon got to assist an occupational therapist with his treatment, which at this time was to read. The patient wanted to read his bible, so someone brought it over and... it was just awesome to see how he prayed before reading the Word and that was what he desired to do: read and pray despite the cognitive difficulties he was experiencing..
4. I was reading the Bible in front of a Starbucks and this white lady with her family passed by. Then she comes back to say that it's good to see me reading the Word of God =) Made me want to read more and more and MORE! =D
5. Many more to come...
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Our Good Father
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
- Matthew 7:9-11
After I dropped off my cousin at her school this morning, I was stopped on a red signal. The sun was SO bright that I had to look away and began to stare at each car that was making a turn into the school parking lot. Almost 90% of the cars had a parent driving and a child sitting in the passenger's seat. I mean, it saddened me a little to see that most people looked so dead and conversation-less, but that's not the point for today.
In Korea, kids do NOT get rides from their parents to go to school. They either walk or take the bus. If you get dropped off, you are known as the rich kid (at least back when I was in Korea, ionno how it is now). And to see all these students getting dropped off every single morning by their parents. Dude, it is some dedication and love. I only give rides to my cousin if I feel like being nice to my mom in the morning, but these parents must give their children rides without fail. And who of them will complain that they have to do this for 12 (plus) freaken years? Okay, I'm sure there are some that do complain, but most of them would agree that it's just what they do as parents, doing what's best for their children by sending them to school (according to their own knowledge).
During the sermon on the mount, Jesus talked to the people who are EVIL that know how to give good gifts to their children. Seriously if that is so, how much more our PERFECTLY GOOD FATHER IN HEAVEN will give us good gifts? He will not be like earthly parents who may make mistakes, hurt your feelings, disappoint and fail you at times, and even complain about you. Our Father in heaven is NOT like that! He will give only good gifts!! He was and is and always will be good to His children. Do we really trust in our hearts that He ONLY gives good gifts and not bad? How about the mess in your life now? Do you truly believe that in all things, including the mess in your life now, God will work out all things for GOOD of those who LOVE HIM, who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)?
May we all pray, "Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!"
- Matthew 7:9-11
After I dropped off my cousin at her school this morning, I was stopped on a red signal. The sun was SO bright that I had to look away and began to stare at each car that was making a turn into the school parking lot. Almost 90% of the cars had a parent driving and a child sitting in the passenger's seat. I mean, it saddened me a little to see that most people looked so dead and conversation-less, but that's not the point for today.
In Korea, kids do NOT get rides from their parents to go to school. They either walk or take the bus. If you get dropped off, you are known as the rich kid (at least back when I was in Korea, ionno how it is now). And to see all these students getting dropped off every single morning by their parents. Dude, it is some dedication and love. I only give rides to my cousin if I feel like being nice to my mom in the morning, but these parents must give their children rides without fail. And who of them will complain that they have to do this for 12 (plus) freaken years? Okay, I'm sure there are some that do complain, but most of them would agree that it's just what they do as parents, doing what's best for their children by sending them to school (according to their own knowledge).
During the sermon on the mount, Jesus talked to the people who are EVIL that know how to give good gifts to their children. Seriously if that is so, how much more our PERFECTLY GOOD FATHER IN HEAVEN will give us good gifts? He will not be like earthly parents who may make mistakes, hurt your feelings, disappoint and fail you at times, and even complain about you. Our Father in heaven is NOT like that! He will give only good gifts!! He was and is and always will be good to His children. Do we really trust in our hearts that He ONLY gives good gifts and not bad? How about the mess in your life now? Do you truly believe that in all things, including the mess in your life now, God will work out all things for GOOD of those who LOVE HIM, who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)?
May we all pray, "Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!"
Monday, October 25, 2010
Depression
So if you have been known me for a bit, you probably know of my self-diagnosed "seasonal affective disorder." So with this S.A.D., one becomes hyperactive/manic during summer time and depressed during winter time, and that's what has been happening to me these past few years.
I didn't even know such a disorder existed until senior year of college. I think the first onset was my sophomore year. Well, I can't say I have the disorder for sure because I never got it officially diagnosed but I have pretty much all the symptoms.
Going through mania during summer (well, mine is milder than really manic episodes) I am filled with energy and joy in everything I do. I'm so filled with purpose and plans. This is when I'm spiritually high and I want to do and actually do everything: meeting up with everyone, planning things, working out, etc.
But when the season of depression comes around, it definitely is not the most pleasant experience. Depression is not just being depressed due to circumstances; it's not even feeling sad but actually being numb to everything, losing purpose and all hope in everything. Everyone feels depressed at some point in life when certain things happen, but real depression occurs when nothing changes around you yet you become apathetic and energy-less. Especially after the extreme hyperactivity and joy of summer, the depression that follows can be detrimental to many as it had been to me.
At this very moment, I am very content where I am. I can say I'm walking very closely with my Lord and He has been the most satisfying. And now that I am aware of what I usually go through, I feel as though I am ready to face depression. But what I have been desperately praying to God is healing. That I would not go through such time as previous winters... But God did teach me so much through depression. If it weren't for it, I would be the most prideful (still am pretty prideful) person ever. God really brought me low to see what a wretched and nasty sinner I am. And really it was only through depression I learned the mercy of God in saving my life literally and eternally. If I didn't have God, I would've had no reason to stop myself from taking my life, but somehow in my mind, it made sense that if I don't live for God, my life is meaningless (and I am NOT a logical person!). So I know it is only by Him that I am living, that I am breathing this breath right now. Apart from Him, I cannot live... There is so much more gratitude living this life knowing that it can be so easily taken away, yet God shows mercy upon me to let me live. And it was through these times of depression when I really found my need for the community of believers. My brothers and sisters who will keep me in check, accountable, and in their prayers so the power of God would bring me back to life.
I've come to a conclusion that I will desperately ask God to heal me, but even if He doesn't, I think I'll be okay. I just need to daily seek God and ask Him for His mercy to draw me to Him, to His cross every single day, every single moment! It's been soooo good to be in His presence, but I realize the moment I stray from Him, I fall and sin. What a wretched sinner I am! By grace of God, I live, so my deepest desire is to live this life for Him who gives me this life.
I didn't even know such a disorder existed until senior year of college. I think the first onset was my sophomore year. Well, I can't say I have the disorder for sure because I never got it officially diagnosed but I have pretty much all the symptoms.
Going through mania during summer (well, mine is milder than really manic episodes) I am filled with energy and joy in everything I do. I'm so filled with purpose and plans. This is when I'm spiritually high and I want to do and actually do everything: meeting up with everyone, planning things, working out, etc.
But when the season of depression comes around, it definitely is not the most pleasant experience. Depression is not just being depressed due to circumstances; it's not even feeling sad but actually being numb to everything, losing purpose and all hope in everything. Everyone feels depressed at some point in life when certain things happen, but real depression occurs when nothing changes around you yet you become apathetic and energy-less. Especially after the extreme hyperactivity and joy of summer, the depression that follows can be detrimental to many as it had been to me.
At this very moment, I am very content where I am. I can say I'm walking very closely with my Lord and He has been the most satisfying. And now that I am aware of what I usually go through, I feel as though I am ready to face depression. But what I have been desperately praying to God is healing. That I would not go through such time as previous winters... But God did teach me so much through depression. If it weren't for it, I would be the most prideful (still am pretty prideful) person ever. God really brought me low to see what a wretched and nasty sinner I am. And really it was only through depression I learned the mercy of God in saving my life literally and eternally. If I didn't have God, I would've had no reason to stop myself from taking my life, but somehow in my mind, it made sense that if I don't live for God, my life is meaningless (and I am NOT a logical person!). So I know it is only by Him that I am living, that I am breathing this breath right now. Apart from Him, I cannot live... There is so much more gratitude living this life knowing that it can be so easily taken away, yet God shows mercy upon me to let me live. And it was through these times of depression when I really found my need for the community of believers. My brothers and sisters who will keep me in check, accountable, and in their prayers so the power of God would bring me back to life.
I've come to a conclusion that I will desperately ask God to heal me, but even if He doesn't, I think I'll be okay. I just need to daily seek God and ask Him for His mercy to draw me to Him, to His cross every single day, every single moment! It's been soooo good to be in His presence, but I realize the moment I stray from Him, I fall and sin. What a wretched sinner I am! By grace of God, I live, so my deepest desire is to live this life for Him who gives me this life.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Come, Lord Jesus!
These days random things like:
- this Korean movie that I just watched called 아저씨
very gory and disturbing (it's still disturbing my mind!!) - keep seeing car accidents (pretty bad ones) everywhere
- Romans 7:19-20
They remind me that I really want Jesus to come back soon.
*Edit: Some more things came into my mind
- Depression (will blog about this soon, Lord willing)
- "Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on. And there will be an end to these troubles. But until that day comes, still I will praise You, still I will praise You"
- from You Never Let Go by Matt Redman - Bible study on Revelation and Daniel
- How could I have not listed this?! I want to be in His presence fully and completely, face-to-face, seeing and beholding His eternal glory more and more, living in eternity to praise Him without sin!
COME, LORD JESUS!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
My God Changes HEARTS!
These are my beloved brothers and sisters of Cerritos Mission Church English Ministry. Some people left early and others couldn't join us =( But aww, we are family =D
These people I love. God has graciously provided me with these people with whom not only can I laugh and have good times, but also, we can share our lives together and grow in Christ as the body of Christ.My church, Cerritos Mission Church just came back from our EM retreat this weekend. It was short, just Friday night to Sunday morning, but God definitely showed me how He has placed these very people in my life and for them, I am so grateful.
So the story actually begins quite awhile ago. CMC is the first and the only church I attended. While attending here, I was saved by the grace of God around 10th, 11th grade in high school. After I started going out to English Ministry after high school, I've been always contemplating whether I should leave my church or not. Our English Ministry has been struggling ever since I entered EM, with several changes in pastors and with people continually leaving the ministry. Discouraged, I still struggled through it in thinking that it won't be any different if I had gone to another church. And it also was my pride speaking that I will not leave, unlike some others, until our ministry gets better.
Last summer, I was really going to leave the church, but I ended up serving in children's ministry for another year. It felt as if the ministry would crumble if I didn't serve (which was totally wrong of me to think like that!). Pressured into serving, I was there half-heartedly, thinking that I will leave once this year of commitment in serving is over in June of 2010. Such a mindset was hurting not only my own faith but also hurting those I was serving with and the children I was serving. Sad to admit to this but when I had finished this one year commitment, I felt so liberated. Having planned on leaving, I started distancing myself from the church and started to check out different churches with my friend. My plan was to look until I found the "right" church while I attend CMCEM service and then move once I had found the one.
Honestly, I loved every church I went to. I even loved non-Korean churches! I loved EVERYWHERE but CMC. I honestly hated CMC. Talking with few of my friends from CMC, I told them about the problems I had with the ministry and was so sure that I could not stand it any longer. But "in my care for the people at CMC," I told myself that I should talk to the JDSN (intern pastor) about these problems at CMC before leaving so they can work on it.
What a prideful hypocrite I was!! My friend had been inviting me to come to her church's Bible study for many many times, but for some reason, I had not been able to go. Finally I got myself to go, and it was pretty amazing. I could tell from his teaching that the pastor was very Spirit-filled. After the Bible study, we were sharing prayer requests, and I shared that mine was "smooth transition" out of CMC. The pastor asked me why I wanted to leave and I gave the "there is no community at this church," however, for some reason, I confessed that I wasn't sure if God wants me to leave because I had been asking God to "okay" my leaving but I was still uneasy with the decision to leave. I had no peace with it. Then the pastor asked me if I wanted him to pray for me about that because he hears from God. Honestly to hear that from someone I met for the first time, I would think that he's weird, but after Bible study, I could trust in his words. So I told him that I would love to, and as the pastor was writing down my prayer request he said "I think I already know... But just in case, I'll pray more and email you or something." Haha
After everything, the pastor actually asked me if I wanted to know, and OF COURSE I wanted to know! And he told me that he thought that God wanted me to stay CMC for now. And honestly, I had expected that answer and was utterly disappointed. Thought to myself, 'Why?! I hate this church!!' I asked the pastor what would happen if I just went to another church. He said that it's not the word of God that is telling me to stay at CMC, and that God will work with me wherever I go.
I believe it was then when my prayer changed from "let me go" to "what do You want me to do?" I asked God to change my heart if that is really what He desired for me to do.
And guess what? God changed my heart. COMPLETELY. And this is all God's doing so I definitely cannot boast in anything that I had done but all glory be to Him!
As I started praying to stay, I had this sense of peace in my heart I did not have before. And slowly, God showed me that all the problems I had with CMC, all the fingerpointing I did at the church eventually came back towards me: I was the problem. God did much humbling of my heart before I met up with my JDSN. The timing was so funny because I wanted to meet up with him for awhile but due to retreats, trips, etc. I wasn't able to meet up for like 2 weeks. During those two weeks, God really changed and humbled my heart that by the time I met up with my JDSN, I was no longer meeting up with him to point fingers but to really share and to work together to build this community.
What was more amazing was that every time my JDSN would speak, he would preach on the same topic that I had just learned that week. First for-sure confirmation was his sermon on "community," the very reason I was leaving CMC for. God showed me that we both and many others at CMC desire the same thing and that He desires for us to work together. During my whole time at CMC, I had been serving but serving alone without working with others!!
Talking to many brothers and sisters in our ministry opened up my eyes to the sin that I had been in and opened the doors for me to really share my struggles and ask them for prayer and accountability. More and more I spend time with these brothers and sisters, the more I love them and the more I want to spend time with them. These were the very people I had judged, that I had disliked, but God is doing some amazing things in my heart!
I had never been THIS joyful in going to church. It so often became a ritual, an obligation, but God in His abundant grace is filling me with this joy in true fellowship. Really, NOTHING changed at my church except my heart and the joy one can have in obedience (this was what I was talking about when I had previously blogged about joy in obedience).
Glory be to God who is able to change hearts!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
I actually wrote this over a year ago. It was actually one of my first blog entries that I never published for some reason. But I actually had to translate it into Korean to publish it on my internship's magazine (and had to take out the "God" part =T) so I thought I would post this up on my blog too. Looking back on it is bringing me back the passion that God put inside of me to become an occupational therapist!
This summer I started volunteering at this hospital called Rancho Los Amigos Rehabilitation Center. And NO, it's not a rehab center for alcoholics (just like how I have to explain how occupational therapists don't help you with your JOBS haha) but rehabilitation here is referring to recovery. It's supposedly one of the top 10 rehab hospitals in the nation, and really God has given me the privilege to have this opportunity to volunteer there, providing for me in every way.. from finding out about the place, going through the long and worrisome process of orientation, being placed in the stroke rehabilitation dept to work with seriously awesome staff!
So on our floor, there are inpatients with strokes as well as outpatients who continue after their discharge to receive therapies and other medical care. These patients, especially ones that are hospitalized, have had strokes that usually affect one side of their brains, causing malfunctioning the other side of their bodies. It also comes with aphasia, a condition in which one cannot produce words some even despite having the ability to understand them. Working there, I got to talk to many therapists and the patients about strokes. One of the patients, who had recently been recovering from his stroke, described the experience as being "stuck in a body" that you have no control over. You're a prisoner of your own body. I don't think ANYONE will ever know how that feels like unless you experience it first-hand yourself. So with the stroke comes frustration from inability to express oneself, anger, hopelessness from having no control, depression, etc.
One day last week, I was walking with my supervisor to post some posters and we saw one of our patients, surrounded by about 6 therapists, doctors, nurses, and staff. He was expressing pain on one of his arm, through the only word he knows how to say: "hi." I had always seen him on his wheelchair, smiling and showing his thumb up and saying "hi" to everyone who passes by, but this time, the "hi" was different. Repeating utterances of "Hi, hi, hi, hi..."and trying to lift up his arm did not do its job to communicate to those around him what had happened, where and how it exactly hurt. My supervisor kept on prompting him with questions to find out what had happened, but couldn't find out about anything. After about 10 minutes, the patient broke into tears, crying out loud... This.. broke my heart because I could clearly see that more than the physical pain itself, it was the frustration that caused him so much more pain. They couldn't find why even by the time I was leaving...
Today, I was inside a room typing up some stuff and I heard that patient's voice, but amazingly, it wasn't a "hi" but he was saying his own name!! He said his name and others were saying marco polo because it rhymed with his name, so he soon picked up how to say those words too. Later he was going around saying different therapists' names even though he couldn't quite get everyone's name. Deng, I couldn't stop smiling hearing his voice because that was the first time I've ever heart him speak words other than hi, and with such enthusiasm. How precious it was just to be able to hear him say such a SIMPLE thing as people's names...
The stroke patients I met so far... They had once been a writer, a diamond setter, an independence film financer, a doctor. All considered "successful" in this world's point of view, until a stroke hit them out of nowhere and now they have such a hard time doing the very trivial, ordinary things that we take for granted. How fleeting this success is!! And I come to the conclusion that the only answer to all this is Jesus and Him alone.
I can't wait for that day when there will be no more frustrations, no more anger, no more diseases, no more pain, no more death.. and no more sin.
Maybe I'll add my Korean translated version later. The ending is... very different. Haha
This summer I started volunteering at this hospital called Rancho Los Amigos Rehabilitation Center. And NO, it's not a rehab center for alcoholics (just like how I have to explain how occupational therapists don't help you with your JOBS haha) but rehabilitation here is referring to recovery. It's supposedly one of the top 10 rehab hospitals in the nation, and really God has given me the privilege to have this opportunity to volunteer there, providing for me in every way.. from finding out about the place, going through the long and worrisome process of orientation, being placed in the stroke rehabilitation dept to work with seriously awesome staff!
So on our floor, there are inpatients with strokes as well as outpatients who continue after their discharge to receive therapies and other medical care. These patients, especially ones that are hospitalized, have had strokes that usually affect one side of their brains, causing malfunctioning the other side of their bodies. It also comes with aphasia, a condition in which one cannot produce words some even despite having the ability to understand them. Working there, I got to talk to many therapists and the patients about strokes. One of the patients, who had recently been recovering from his stroke, described the experience as being "stuck in a body" that you have no control over. You're a prisoner of your own body. I don't think ANYONE will ever know how that feels like unless you experience it first-hand yourself. So with the stroke comes frustration from inability to express oneself, anger, hopelessness from having no control, depression, etc.
One day last week, I was walking with my supervisor to post some posters and we saw one of our patients, surrounded by about 6 therapists, doctors, nurses, and staff. He was expressing pain on one of his arm, through the only word he knows how to say: "hi." I had always seen him on his wheelchair, smiling and showing his thumb up and saying "hi" to everyone who passes by, but this time, the "hi" was different. Repeating utterances of "Hi, hi, hi, hi..."and trying to lift up his arm did not do its job to communicate to those around him what had happened, where and how it exactly hurt. My supervisor kept on prompting him with questions to find out what had happened, but couldn't find out about anything. After about 10 minutes, the patient broke into tears, crying out loud... This.. broke my heart because I could clearly see that more than the physical pain itself, it was the frustration that caused him so much more pain. They couldn't find why even by the time I was leaving...
Today, I was inside a room typing up some stuff and I heard that patient's voice, but amazingly, it wasn't a "hi" but he was saying his own name!! He said his name and others were saying marco polo because it rhymed with his name, so he soon picked up how to say those words too. Later he was going around saying different therapists' names even though he couldn't quite get everyone's name. Deng, I couldn't stop smiling hearing his voice because that was the first time I've ever heart him speak words other than hi, and with such enthusiasm. How precious it was just to be able to hear him say such a SIMPLE thing as people's names...
The stroke patients I met so far... They had once been a writer, a diamond setter, an independence film financer, a doctor. All considered "successful" in this world's point of view, until a stroke hit them out of nowhere and now they have such a hard time doing the very trivial, ordinary things that we take for granted. How fleeting this success is!! And I come to the conclusion that the only answer to all this is Jesus and Him alone.
I can't wait for that day when there will be no more frustrations, no more anger, no more diseases, no more pain, no more death.. and no more sin.
Maybe I'll add my Korean translated version later. The ending is... very different. Haha
Monday, October 4, 2010
Mercy of God
"What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses, 'For he says to Moses, 'I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: 'I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.' Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden." - Romans 9:14-18
I honestly didn't understand the mercy of God. Still a bit of a foreign concept but I'm slowly learning to ask God to have mercy upon me, a wicked sinner.
Mercy does not mean forgiveness nor does it mean grace.
Mercy means pity, feeling sorry, like how we may feel when we see a starving child from Africa. Boy, am I at the mercy of God in living each day! I never understood what it meant when the blinds begged Jesus for mercy. We must beg God to look upon us with mercy because we are so helpless and because we are so well-deserving of condemnation. (*this part was edited. I just came back from a Bible study and we re-learned about mercy and how foolish I was to depend on the worldly dictionary to give definiton of what mercy, what God has for us!)
But God shows clearly that He is a merciful God through sending His Son. He had mercy upon us that He made a way for us through Christ. He knew that we were pitiful beings that had no power but subject to the wrath of Him who created us. Have mercy on us, Lord!
Even when Jonah was angry at the fact that Ninevah was saved from calamity of the Lord. God teaches Jonah about His mercy through the divine appointment of a rising and a falling of a plant. At its withering, Jonah was "angry enough to die" (dramatic much?) and God says this in response to Jonah's anger.
"But the LORD said, 'You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?'" - Jonah 4:10-11
God loves those whom He created, has mercy on them, and desires that everyone be saved (1 Timothy 2:4). Today is the day of salvation. Believe Him and be saved.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
하나님만으로 만족합니다
This Korean tv show I've been watching with my mom... This girl was one of the soloist for their choir group and she has such a beautiful voice. I randomly found this song on youtube. The video is from the show (whatever) but the SONG! Ahh..
하나님만으로 만족합니다
meaning something like "I'm satisfied just (only) with God." Ehh.. okay, I don't know how to translate well. But for me, maybe because Korean is my native language, just hearing that phrase was so powerful. In the song, it repeats "하나님만으로 만족합니다. 주님 여기 계시니." It means "I'm satisfied just/only with God. For He is here (with me)."
I think.. people's voices are SO amazing. Even watching the choir group from the tv show perform moved me so much, to tears. All the voices together making one BEAUTIFUL sound! Made me really want to be a part of one, but I know singing isn't a gift God gave me HAHA -__-
Actually yesterday night I went to Sara Bareilles concert, and she definitely has an amazing voice... but all that for what if it's not being used to praise God? I don't know; it was kinda weird cuz I was impressed, but not moved by her singing =/
God's still, small voice is the most beautiful of all though. the most powerful. the most moving.
Friday, September 24, 2010
A Call to Meaningful Life
The fall quarter of sophomore year.
I was a pre-pharm student only because my mom told me that's the best job for girls and I knew of nothing that I really desired to do. The whole freshman year I just had fun being a pre-pharm student studying (=playing) with all those once-pre-med/pharm students (actually nvm many of them are actually in school now =P). For some reason, as I was staring my sophomore year, it just didn't feel right. I simply couldn't imagine myself behind the counter counting pills in a local drug store (i know pharmacists do much more than that but according to my understanding at the time). Especially as a life-time career, no way! I'll be too restricted in such a confined environment and my carelessness may well cause some serious complications with my patients... So with that thought, I started praying to God: "God, do you want me to be a pharmacist? Cuz I don't think I want to. If that's not Your will for me, show me. And show me CLEARLY what You want me to do with my life." I believe this was the very first time I prayed that "persistent prayer." For me being persistent meant the first few weeks of school.
While I was doing that, I was taking an econ class as a pre-req for pharmacy. It was an 8 AM CLASS! But even more shocking was that I actually went to EVERY class and studied pretty hard for that class. No matter how much I studied, though, I just couldn't understand all the concepts and theories.
One night, I believe it was the Sunday before the 4th week of fall quarter, my old youth group Bible study teacher Hyunah (my mentor who really took care of me as a baby Christian) took me to a Chris Tomlin concert. On our way there, I told her about how I wasn't sure about pharmacy, etc. and asked her what I should do. Her answer? Pray... Hahah I told her I had been, then she gave me some practical advice like try volunteering, which I was signed up to start that week. Without getting much of an answer as I wished to, we went to the concert, were blessed singing for the audience of One, and started head back to LA so she could drop me off at school. While we were walking back to the car, I randomly remembered how she used to tell me how she loves doing one-on-one's with people and I had recently discovered that I loved doing that as well. When I told her that, she suggested (or I asked, I forget) that I should consider being an O.T.
HUH?
Seriously, I had asked her 289349234 times what an O.T. was, but it always went right over my head. So again I had to ask her what that meant (seriously thanks to her patience with me!). She explained what they do (she was in O.T. school then). For the first time after 289349234 times, it kinda clicked in my head! And I went, "Ooo~ I would be interested in that!"
With that thought, I came back to school and headed to the library for an allnighter cuz I had a midterm for that stupid econ class at 8AM. I was studying ALL NIGHT seriously until 4 AM. And I was fed up. I just DID NOT GET IT! SO I headed over to the computers and looked up the last day to drop classes: That week was the last, so I decided whatever I do I know it's NOT pharmacy and clicked the "drop" button. Boy, was I SUPER HAPPY!! HAHA I had to tell someone and there was an unni from KCM that was studying so I went to her and told her all about how I dropped the class when the midterm is in 4 hours and how I'm not doing pharmacy anymore but now considering O.T. Guess what? She was pre-pre-med student now considering to be an O.T. as well! So we ended up talking til the sun rose about all kinds of things and she suggested that I come visit her volunteer place where O.T.'s work with children with autism. So later that morning, I went to visit and I loved it, so I went in for my volunteer interview and asked them to place me there instead of pharmacy dept. I volunteered there for a little less than a year I believe?
So that was that. I also had been volunteering at this place called Graceland, a rehabilitation for adults with disabilties since high school, at first for college credit. By that time, I still went out every Saturdays without really a reason. I felt very useless there since all I did there was eat.. HAHA.. but yeah, I was wondering why I kept on going out when I wasn't getting anything from there and I wasn't contributing anything to that place. I clearly remember it was when I was walking back from Westwood to the apts that it hit me that... God kept me there!! Years of working with adults with disability?! O.T.?! Wow, it was pretty amazing when I had that revelation. God knew I needed such experience to become an O.T., or at least decide to!
One thing I did worry about was my mom. What am I going to tell her? But somehow I got the guts to bring it up to her on our way home from school. At first, she seemed very upset and I was crying telling her it's something that God had told me to do... I thought she wasn't fond of it until later I went to my family's cell group meeting. A jipsanim came up and gave me $20 telling me how she's so proud of me for pursuing O.T. Apparently my mom had shared with her cell group about what happened with me and she NEVEr sharesss!! Yeah, that was definitely encouraging!
After this crazy series of clarity in His answering my prayer (I'm sure I'm missing some things too), I was MADLY spiritually high. No joke. Everything was BEAUTIFUL. I walked around giggling by myself -___- then it faded and I fell like no other. I was dependent on this blessing God has given me more than I was dependent on Him and His WORD! At that time, I didn't even understand why I fell so hard until a year later when I heard the first sermon preached by Pastor Awax at our servant team retreat...
Anyhow, so I've had many ups and downs. Doubts. Thinking "did i just force these puzzle pieces things together when they didnt fit in the first place?" But God has been so good to me to convict me once again, opening opportunities to intern and volunteer and get to know what an O.T. is about, at least way more than I had before even though I'm sure I don't know everything of what an O.T. does. All I know is that as an occupational therapist (O.T.), you help others live a meaningful life. And I pray that I not only help them have meaningful lives in the worldly sense but help them find true meaning of life. Life in Him.
I will be starting school in January and I'm super excited for it! Even though I was quite taken aback when I got rejected the first time, now I am so grateful that I had this year of 2010 to grow in the Lord.
Pray for me that I would never forget His calling and His goodness through it all and that I would always seek Him not the blessings He gives and live a very MEANINGFUL life myself before I can help others through His help. God is ABLE.
If you read this whole thing, WOW.
My sister told me I need to learn to summarize things...
but its super hard as you can see -__-
I was a pre-pharm student only because my mom told me that's the best job for girls and I knew of nothing that I really desired to do. The whole freshman year I just had fun being a pre-pharm student studying (=playing) with all those once-pre-med/pharm students (actually nvm many of them are actually in school now =P). For some reason, as I was staring my sophomore year, it just didn't feel right. I simply couldn't imagine myself behind the counter counting pills in a local drug store (i know pharmacists do much more than that but according to my understanding at the time). Especially as a life-time career, no way! I'll be too restricted in such a confined environment and my carelessness may well cause some serious complications with my patients... So with that thought, I started praying to God: "God, do you want me to be a pharmacist? Cuz I don't think I want to. If that's not Your will for me, show me. And show me CLEARLY what You want me to do with my life." I believe this was the very first time I prayed that "persistent prayer." For me being persistent meant the first few weeks of school.
While I was doing that, I was taking an econ class as a pre-req for pharmacy. It was an 8 AM CLASS! But even more shocking was that I actually went to EVERY class and studied pretty hard for that class. No matter how much I studied, though, I just couldn't understand all the concepts and theories.
One night, I believe it was the Sunday before the 4th week of fall quarter, my old youth group Bible study teacher Hyunah (my mentor who really took care of me as a baby Christian) took me to a Chris Tomlin concert. On our way there, I told her about how I wasn't sure about pharmacy, etc. and asked her what I should do. Her answer? Pray... Hahah I told her I had been, then she gave me some practical advice like try volunteering, which I was signed up to start that week. Without getting much of an answer as I wished to, we went to the concert, were blessed singing for the audience of One, and started head back to LA so she could drop me off at school. While we were walking back to the car, I randomly remembered how she used to tell me how she loves doing one-on-one's with people and I had recently discovered that I loved doing that as well. When I told her that, she suggested (or I asked, I forget) that I should consider being an O.T.
HUH?
Seriously, I had asked her 289349234 times what an O.T. was, but it always went right over my head. So again I had to ask her what that meant (seriously thanks to her patience with me!). She explained what they do (she was in O.T. school then). For the first time after 289349234 times, it kinda clicked in my head! And I went, "Ooo~ I would be interested in that!"
With that thought, I came back to school and headed to the library for an allnighter cuz I had a midterm for that stupid econ class at 8AM. I was studying ALL NIGHT seriously until 4 AM. And I was fed up. I just DID NOT GET IT! SO I headed over to the computers and looked up the last day to drop classes: That week was the last, so I decided whatever I do I know it's NOT pharmacy and clicked the "drop" button. Boy, was I SUPER HAPPY!! HAHA I had to tell someone and there was an unni from KCM that was studying so I went to her and told her all about how I dropped the class when the midterm is in 4 hours and how I'm not doing pharmacy anymore but now considering O.T. Guess what? She was pre-pre-med student now considering to be an O.T. as well! So we ended up talking til the sun rose about all kinds of things and she suggested that I come visit her volunteer place where O.T.'s work with children with autism. So later that morning, I went to visit and I loved it, so I went in for my volunteer interview and asked them to place me there instead of pharmacy dept. I volunteered there for a little less than a year I believe?
So that was that. I also had been volunteering at this place called Graceland, a rehabilitation for adults with disabilties since high school, at first for college credit. By that time, I still went out every Saturdays without really a reason. I felt very useless there since all I did there was eat.. HAHA.. but yeah, I was wondering why I kept on going out when I wasn't getting anything from there and I wasn't contributing anything to that place. I clearly remember it was when I was walking back from Westwood to the apts that it hit me that... God kept me there!! Years of working with adults with disability?! O.T.?! Wow, it was pretty amazing when I had that revelation. God knew I needed such experience to become an O.T., or at least decide to!
One thing I did worry about was my mom. What am I going to tell her? But somehow I got the guts to bring it up to her on our way home from school. At first, she seemed very upset and I was crying telling her it's something that God had told me to do... I thought she wasn't fond of it until later I went to my family's cell group meeting. A jipsanim came up and gave me $20 telling me how she's so proud of me for pursuing O.T. Apparently my mom had shared with her cell group about what happened with me and she NEVEr sharesss!! Yeah, that was definitely encouraging!
After this crazy series of clarity in His answering my prayer (I'm sure I'm missing some things too), I was MADLY spiritually high. No joke. Everything was BEAUTIFUL. I walked around giggling by myself -___- then it faded and I fell like no other. I was dependent on this blessing God has given me more than I was dependent on Him and His WORD! At that time, I didn't even understand why I fell so hard until a year later when I heard the first sermon preached by Pastor Awax at our servant team retreat...
Anyhow, so I've had many ups and downs. Doubts. Thinking "did i just force these puzzle pieces things together when they didnt fit in the first place?" But God has been so good to me to convict me once again, opening opportunities to intern and volunteer and get to know what an O.T. is about, at least way more than I had before even though I'm sure I don't know everything of what an O.T. does. All I know is that as an occupational therapist (O.T.), you help others live a meaningful life. And I pray that I not only help them have meaningful lives in the worldly sense but help them find true meaning of life. Life in Him.
I will be starting school in January and I'm super excited for it! Even though I was quite taken aback when I got rejected the first time, now I am so grateful that I had this year of 2010 to grow in the Lord.
Pray for me that I would never forget His calling and His goodness through it all and that I would always seek Him not the blessings He gives and live a very MEANINGFUL life myself before I can help others through His help. God is ABLE.
If you read this whole thing, WOW.
My sister told me I need to learn to summarize things...
but its super hard as you can see -__-
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Judging Others
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
- Matthew 7:1-5
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!"
- Philippians 2:3-8
I'm so guilty of judging others, not regarding others as better than myself... when God Himself humbled Himself and served us, only to receive the judgment that we rightly deserve...
I randomly heard this story on the radio (99.5 FM they have some good stuff at times) and it really.. was.. moving. So I thought I'd share this story of a pastor that was speaking.
So as a preacher, the pastor was used to people sleeping during his sermons, but there was this ONE man who would fall asleep week after week without fail. The moment his sermon started the guy just knocked out. He always came with his wife who was very attentive and so the pastor figured that the wife dragged this nonspiritual husband to church week after week. After awhile, his wife came up to him one day after service and said she wanted to talk to the pastor. The pastor thought that she needed some counsel on how to deal with her unbelieving husband.
And so they met. To his surprise, the wife came to say thanks to the pastor. She thanked him for preaching the word of God because her husband really enjoys his preaching. Her husband was a severe cancer patient who had to take medicine right before church to be able to come and that medicine made him really sleepy.. How shocked, foolish, and guilty the pastor must have felt!
We all do it. We just look at these people and attribute them whatever we wish to, without even trying to get to know them, never seeing the huge plank in our eyes... Let us humble ourselves before God and before others. There is NOTHING good in us. NOTHING. I must remind myself this constantly. Only GOOD I have is CHRIST.
- Matthew 7:1-5
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!"
- Philippians 2:3-8
I'm so guilty of judging others, not regarding others as better than myself... when God Himself humbled Himself and served us, only to receive the judgment that we rightly deserve...
I randomly heard this story on the radio (99.5 FM they have some good stuff at times) and it really.. was.. moving. So I thought I'd share this story of a pastor that was speaking.
So as a preacher, the pastor was used to people sleeping during his sermons, but there was this ONE man who would fall asleep week after week without fail. The moment his sermon started the guy just knocked out. He always came with his wife who was very attentive and so the pastor figured that the wife dragged this nonspiritual husband to church week after week. After awhile, his wife came up to him one day after service and said she wanted to talk to the pastor. The pastor thought that she needed some counsel on how to deal with her unbelieving husband.
And so they met. To his surprise, the wife came to say thanks to the pastor. She thanked him for preaching the word of God because her husband really enjoys his preaching. Her husband was a severe cancer patient who had to take medicine right before church to be able to come and that medicine made him really sleepy.. How shocked, foolish, and guilty the pastor must have felt!
We all do it. We just look at these people and attribute them whatever we wish to, without even trying to get to know them, never seeing the huge plank in our eyes... Let us humble ourselves before God and before others. There is NOTHING good in us. NOTHING. I must remind myself this constantly. Only GOOD I have is CHRIST.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
King of ENDLESS WORTH!
How many times have I sung the song "The Heart of Worship" and never realized that this phrase was in the song?
The Heart of Woship
When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
God, You are WORTHY! Worthy of the best of the best of the best! Worthy of my praise and the praise of all creation!! Worthy of my life because You sacrificed Your life, the Best for me. Thank You. You are too wonderful for me...!
"Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and gloryand blessing!" - Revelation 5:12
Are you giving God all His worth?
Is He worth the best of what you have?
Are you willing to sacrifice all to worship Him?
Is He worth all the pains of this life?
Is He REALLY worth it?
The Heart of Woship
When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
God, You are WORTHY! Worthy of the best of the best of the best! Worthy of my praise and the praise of all creation!! Worthy of my life because You sacrificed Your life, the Best for me. Thank You. You are too wonderful for me...!
"Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and gloryand blessing!" - Revelation 5:12
Are you giving God all His worth?
Is He worth the best of what you have?
Are you willing to sacrifice all to worship Him?
Is He worth all the pains of this life?
Is He REALLY worth it?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Joy in Obedience
There really is sooooooooooooooooo MUCH joy in obeying God. So much more than REBELLING against God. When He tells us to do something, we often acknowledge that He knows what's best for us, but we never go to the extent of truly trusting in Him. All the laws that God has given us.. it really is for our own good. How good it is to obey His Word!! Maybe I'll elaborate more on this later but I thought I'd just share this =)
*I must make sure I rejoice in my relationship with Him! (Luke 10:20) He is so good to even remind me this =)
*I must make sure I rejoice in my relationship with Him! (Luke 10:20) He is so good to even remind me this =)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
God, You amaze me! ...and make my head hurt!
So I've been going out to my friend's church's bible study, and it truly has been enlightening. Now I think or at least try to think about some things that I had never even considered. And it really blows my mind and makes my head hurt thinking about it!
Have you ever thought about what it means to be infinite?
to be perfect? holy? absolute? free?
I thought I knew what these terms meant, but little did i know...
During one of the bible studies, the pastor talked about what "infinte" and "perfect" meant and what "infinitely perfect" meant because that's who God is.. INFINITELY PERFECT!!!! Huh?! hahah i really was trying to figure out what that meant for literally two weeks (and kinda gave up; still don't quite get it)
But what I know for sure is that God truly is amazing. He is beyond any of words and terms humans can bring up to describe Him.
He is infinitely perfect;
He is invisible;
He is eternal;
and soooooo soooo much more infintely!
YET,
the Infinite entered the finite space;
the Invisible became Visible;
the Eternity entered time...
just so that He can be Immanual, God with us.
Jesus left His glory above,
to be like us in flesh,
born of a young virgin,
to obey the Father's will.
On another note, it suddenly hit me today when I realized our existence only is possible because God allows it. If He decides to not let me take another breath or to just decide to end the world or make it disappear or bring a flood like the days of Noah (let's just pretend)! Wow, how dependent we are upon HIM! We can do NOTHING apart from the good grace of God! He completely sustains us. Not only does He sustains this physical body of mine but my eternal life is in Him. I am in Him. My life is in Him. AHHHHHHHh my head hurts really, but... God, You truly are amazing! Well.. Duh, cuz You created me! How will I ever fathom Your ways...!!
"In him we live and move and have our being" - Acts 17:28
Have you ever thought about what it means to be infinite?
to be perfect? holy? absolute? free?
I thought I knew what these terms meant, but little did i know...
During one of the bible studies, the pastor talked about what "infinte" and "perfect" meant and what "infinitely perfect" meant because that's who God is.. INFINITELY PERFECT!!!! Huh?! hahah i really was trying to figure out what that meant for literally two weeks (and kinda gave up; still don't quite get it)
But what I know for sure is that God truly is amazing. He is beyond any of words and terms humans can bring up to describe Him.
He is infinitely perfect;
He is invisible;
He is eternal;
and soooooo soooo much more infintely!
YET,
the Infinite entered the finite space;
the Invisible became Visible;
the Eternity entered time...
just so that He can be Immanual, God with us.
Jesus left His glory above,
to be like us in flesh,
born of a young virgin,
to obey the Father's will.
On another note, it suddenly hit me today when I realized our existence only is possible because God allows it. If He decides to not let me take another breath or to just decide to end the world or make it disappear or bring a flood like the days of Noah (let's just pretend)! Wow, how dependent we are upon HIM! We can do NOTHING apart from the good grace of God! He completely sustains us. Not only does He sustains this physical body of mine but my eternal life is in Him. I am in Him. My life is in Him. AHHHHHHHh my head hurts really, but... God, You truly are amazing! Well.. Duh, cuz You created me! How will I ever fathom Your ways...!!
"In him we live and move and have our being" - Acts 17:28
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I've been listening to hymns a lot lately (those modernized versions)
and seriously, they have been a big blessing, speaking the truth to me.
Just the titles of the hymns alone spoke to me.
Just as I am
Trust and Obey
This Is My Father's World
Grace That Is Greater
The Old Rugged Cross
'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
You should listen to them =)
and seriously, they have been a big blessing, speaking the truth to me.
Just the titles of the hymns alone spoke to me.
Just as I am
Trust and Obey
This Is My Father's World
Grace That Is Greater
The Old Rugged Cross
'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
You should listen to them =)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Great Provision
Last week, one of my students was coming really late so I ended up chatting with some of my coworkers at the hakwon i work at. The conversation somehow led to how I got the job there to just how I got jobs throughout college, up until now. As I was telling them (sadly without the God part =/) it just dawned upon me how God has been so good to me to provide me with these jobs whenever I needed.
Other than tutoring, I never had a real job until the sophomore year in college. I am not in a position to get ANY jobs (if you know my situation), so getting even a part-time job has been hard for me. But just at the right time, when I thought that I should really start looking, I went to my church's college group retreat. There, it was during small group time or so, when I shared about how I think I should pray about gettng a job, Christine, who had just graduated from UCLA, suggested that I should work at her previous job. I don't quite remember all the details, but I ended up working there for a whole year. I hated the job mostly because it was so unfitting for me(beauty supplies?! me?!) and inconvenient (at least 20 min walking 20 min bus ride one way =/), but it defintely gave much alone time to think about different things and realize different things...
I quit the job the summer after sophomore year since I wasn't going to be in LA. I ended up tutoring a bunch of juniors SAT (hahah i can't even do that now) at this church I went to missions with. Then it was time for me to start looking again. Before school started I went to USC KCM's first general meeting, and there, met Billy, a friend from UCLA. I was talking about how I need to find a job and he told me he knows a friend that's working in westwood. So he calls her, and guess what? It was Angelica with whom I had a class in freshman year! So I ended up working at the clothing store in westwood. Again, that was NOT my specialty but without overwhelming difficulty I managed to work 2 full days per week for 2 years!! The pay was better than the previous job plus it only took half the time to get to work. And my boss was this super nice korean ahjumma, who bought me lunch all the time and gave me free clothes =P
Well, once I grauduated it was time to look again. I was thinking of tutoring and at my internship (which was pretty crazy connection as well if I think about it now mb ill write about this one later) Rosa SSN asked me if I wanted my advertisement on this korean ahjumma website.. The very next day I got a call from Reading Town, my current work, and here I have been for over a year now!
Ahh.. OKay that was crazy and I get overwhelmed at His provision AND His faithfulness AND His power despite the circumstances. But what I have been realizing more is His provision for me through the CROSS. Without the cross, I cannot go to God period. There just absolutely is no other way!! How would my life be if I couldn't go to Him? I don't know.. So for providing the way to the Father, I thank Jesus Christ. It's so strange that that simple truth is hitting me NOW. And I'm sure there's soooooooooooooooooo much more of those "simple truths" I am not aware of yet.
Other than tutoring, I never had a real job until the sophomore year in college. I am not in a position to get ANY jobs (if you know my situation), so getting even a part-time job has been hard for me. But just at the right time, when I thought that I should really start looking, I went to my church's college group retreat. There, it was during small group time or so, when I shared about how I think I should pray about gettng a job, Christine, who had just graduated from UCLA, suggested that I should work at her previous job. I don't quite remember all the details, but I ended up working there for a whole year. I hated the job mostly because it was so unfitting for me(beauty supplies?! me?!) and inconvenient (at least 20 min walking 20 min bus ride one way =/), but it defintely gave much alone time to think about different things and realize different things...
I quit the job the summer after sophomore year since I wasn't going to be in LA. I ended up tutoring a bunch of juniors SAT (hahah i can't even do that now) at this church I went to missions with. Then it was time for me to start looking again. Before school started I went to USC KCM's first general meeting, and there, met Billy, a friend from UCLA. I was talking about how I need to find a job and he told me he knows a friend that's working in westwood. So he calls her, and guess what? It was Angelica with whom I had a class in freshman year! So I ended up working at the clothing store in westwood. Again, that was NOT my specialty but without overwhelming difficulty I managed to work 2 full days per week for 2 years!! The pay was better than the previous job plus it only took half the time to get to work. And my boss was this super nice korean ahjumma, who bought me lunch all the time and gave me free clothes =P
Well, once I grauduated it was time to look again. I was thinking of tutoring and at my internship (which was pretty crazy connection as well if I think about it now mb ill write about this one later) Rosa SSN asked me if I wanted my advertisement on this korean ahjumma website.. The very next day I got a call from Reading Town, my current work, and here I have been for over a year now!
Ahh.. OKay that was crazy and I get overwhelmed at His provision AND His faithfulness AND His power despite the circumstances. But what I have been realizing more is His provision for me through the CROSS. Without the cross, I cannot go to God period. There just absolutely is no other way!! How would my life be if I couldn't go to Him? I don't know.. So for providing the way to the Father, I thank Jesus Christ. It's so strange that that simple truth is hitting me NOW. And I'm sure there's soooooooooooooooooo much more of those "simple truths" I am not aware of yet.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Mmmm I Don't Know How to Title Blogs Anymore So This Is the Title =P
So it has been a loooooong time since I last blogged, but there were few entries here and there either incomplete or in my private blog. Finally I'm getting myself to write something (thanks to steve for the encouragement!) and it's interesting cuz it just hit me thinking through things from yesterday's sermon at the kcm commissioning service to a talk with a dear friend of mine.
Yesterday Pastor Richard talked about several things, I think.. How things done without love means nothing but a noisy gong (1 Corin 13:1), which I need to process more even though that's something I have been learning and re-learning over and over again, but what really stuck with me is the concept of joy and mission. How joyful those mission trainees are, because they have a MISSION.. and Jesus Christ, "who for the joy set before him endured the cross (Hebrews 12:2)" And there's me the one lacking joy, as I've lost the mission in my life or more like I've ignored the mission in my life. Yes, THE MISSION.
And it hit me there that I've been lacking joy and lacking the mission. Past 10 days were my vacation days because my dad was here from Korea. So for those of you that don't know, my dad lives and works in Korea, so he comes to visit every year for about a week. Yes, a very short time =( It has been this way for almost 10 years... Well, more important than our separation is the fact that He is not a believer in Christ. There was one year when I was given the opportunity to share with him but he just said "yeah, yeah I believe," but later on arguing with me that the Bible is nonsense, objectively unscientific and illogical..
I remember that year I prayed a lot and God really did answer my prayer for that one opportunity to talk with him and share with him, but this time around, I wasn't ready at all. Thinking back on it, that was very stupid, immature of me to declare that and not try because it's not whether I'm ready or not, but it's the work that He does. But I did find out more things about him that made me sad. In the world's perspective, he is a pretty successful man, achieving the "Korean dream," not American because he left America with little money and now has a company of his own. He's very good at the things he does; my family calls him "능력자" which means the "Able Man"(?) Anyhow, so he is super busy, he makes enough money to spoil us when he's here, he can fix everything (aka MacGyver), and even always comes up from vegas trips.. Honestly I didn't know that when he left America, he left with such little money and has been sending us tuition and living expenses. So when I first heard that, I was a bit proud to have him as my dad, a successful provider of the family.
But later on it got me sad thinking about it. His busy-ness, having enough lacking in nothing much leaves him at a very dangerous place with God. He sees no need for God; my dad isn't a bad guy, rather he's more likely to think of himself as the good provider of the family, sacrificing his time and effort to support his family abroad. So ever since the time I realized that he's not saved, it really breaks my heart to see him leave at the airport. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? This might be the last time...
God has a plan and perfect timing though, right? Well, after I heard the sermon it hit me but it didn't linger inside me enough for me to really process it. And God is so good and faithful. Today I met up with one of my closest friends and we had tea and some good talking session. Sharing about how it has been in the past week or so and so on. This friend has been struggling for the longest time with faith. But of course, I didn't bring up the "God stuff" because I was "not ready" to.. She was sharing about some difficulties she's facing and it was brought into mind about THE MISSION unlike the time I'd been spending with my dad. So here was my MISSION. And somehow by the leading of the Spirit, I was able to share with her about God and pray with her. It may be a small thing that I've done, but definitely brought me joy to know that God was speaking through me and He was using me despite my "not ready-ness." She thanked me for that and I know (and she knows) that I'm normally not a very sympathetic, warm, compassionate person, but God enables me to say and act in ways that touched her and showed her Love. Not only that it led me to realize my need and my stupidity for not depending on Him lately AND it's leading me to blog and encouraging me to seek Him first before all things (Matthew 6:33).
Now that I started writing I have so much more to share but I've already written too much for one entry so I'll save others for later. But, thank God for leading me back to Him, once again.
Now it's time to seek Him.
Pray without ceasing.
Yesterday Pastor Richard talked about several things, I think.. How things done without love means nothing but a noisy gong (1 Corin 13:1), which I need to process more even though that's something I have been learning and re-learning over and over again, but what really stuck with me is the concept of joy and mission. How joyful those mission trainees are, because they have a MISSION.. and Jesus Christ, "who for the joy set before him endured the cross (Hebrews 12:2)" And there's me the one lacking joy, as I've lost the mission in my life or more like I've ignored the mission in my life. Yes, THE MISSION.
And it hit me there that I've been lacking joy and lacking the mission. Past 10 days were my vacation days because my dad was here from Korea. So for those of you that don't know, my dad lives and works in Korea, so he comes to visit every year for about a week. Yes, a very short time =( It has been this way for almost 10 years... Well, more important than our separation is the fact that He is not a believer in Christ. There was one year when I was given the opportunity to share with him but he just said "yeah, yeah I believe," but later on arguing with me that the Bible is nonsense, objectively unscientific and illogical..
I remember that year I prayed a lot and God really did answer my prayer for that one opportunity to talk with him and share with him, but this time around, I wasn't ready at all. Thinking back on it, that was very stupid, immature of me to declare that and not try because it's not whether I'm ready or not, but it's the work that He does. But I did find out more things about him that made me sad. In the world's perspective, he is a pretty successful man, achieving the "Korean dream," not American because he left America with little money and now has a company of his own. He's very good at the things he does; my family calls him "능력자" which means the "Able Man"(?) Anyhow, so he is super busy, he makes enough money to spoil us when he's here, he can fix everything (aka MacGyver), and even always comes up from vegas trips.. Honestly I didn't know that when he left America, he left with such little money and has been sending us tuition and living expenses. So when I first heard that, I was a bit proud to have him as my dad, a successful provider of the family.
But later on it got me sad thinking about it. His busy-ness, having enough lacking in nothing much leaves him at a very dangerous place with God. He sees no need for God; my dad isn't a bad guy, rather he's more likely to think of himself as the good provider of the family, sacrificing his time and effort to support his family abroad. So ever since the time I realized that he's not saved, it really breaks my heart to see him leave at the airport. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? This might be the last time...
God has a plan and perfect timing though, right? Well, after I heard the sermon it hit me but it didn't linger inside me enough for me to really process it. And God is so good and faithful. Today I met up with one of my closest friends and we had tea and some good talking session. Sharing about how it has been in the past week or so and so on. This friend has been struggling for the longest time with faith. But of course, I didn't bring up the "God stuff" because I was "not ready" to.. She was sharing about some difficulties she's facing and it was brought into mind about THE MISSION unlike the time I'd been spending with my dad. So here was my MISSION. And somehow by the leading of the Spirit, I was able to share with her about God and pray with her. It may be a small thing that I've done, but definitely brought me joy to know that God was speaking through me and He was using me despite my "not ready-ness." She thanked me for that and I know (and she knows) that I'm normally not a very sympathetic, warm, compassionate person, but God enables me to say and act in ways that touched her and showed her Love. Not only that it led me to realize my need and my stupidity for not depending on Him lately AND it's leading me to blog and encouraging me to seek Him first before all things (Matthew 6:33).
Now that I started writing I have so much more to share but I've already written too much for one entry so I'll save others for later. But, thank God for leading me back to Him, once again.
Now it's time to seek Him.
Pray without ceasing.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Only a branch!
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." - John 15:5
"You are the branch. You need be nothing more. You need not for one single moment of the day take upon you the responsibility of the Vine. You need not leave the place of entire dependence and unbounded confidence. You need, least of all, to be anxious as to how you are to understand the mystery, or fulfill its conditions, or work out its blessed aim. The Vine will give all and work all. The Father, the Husbandman, watches over your union with and growth in the Vine. You need be nothing more than a branch. Only a branch! Let that be your watchword; it will lead in the path of continual surrender to Christ's working, of true obedience to His every command, of joyful expectancy of all His grace.
Is there anyone who now asks: "How can I learn to say this aright, `Only be a branch!' and to live it out?" Dear soul, the character of a branch, its strength, and the fruit it bears, depend entirely upon the Vine. And your life as branch depends entirely upon your apprehension of what our Lord Jesus is. Therefore never separate the two words: "I the Vine--you the branch." Your life and strength and fruit depend upon what your Lord Jesus is! Therefore worship and trust Him; let Him be your one desire and the one occupation of your heart."
- Andrew Murray
"You are the branch. You need be nothing more. You need not for one single moment of the day take upon you the responsibility of the Vine. You need not leave the place of entire dependence and unbounded confidence. You need, least of all, to be anxious as to how you are to understand the mystery, or fulfill its conditions, or work out its blessed aim. The Vine will give all and work all. The Father, the Husbandman, watches over your union with and growth in the Vine. You need be nothing more than a branch. Only a branch! Let that be your watchword; it will lead in the path of continual surrender to Christ's working, of true obedience to His every command, of joyful expectancy of all His grace.
Is there anyone who now asks: "How can I learn to say this aright, `Only be a branch!' and to live it out?" Dear soul, the character of a branch, its strength, and the fruit it bears, depend entirely upon the Vine. And your life as branch depends entirely upon your apprehension of what our Lord Jesus is. Therefore never separate the two words: "I the Vine--you the branch." Your life and strength and fruit depend upon what your Lord Jesus is! Therefore worship and trust Him; let Him be your one desire and the one occupation of your heart."
- Andrew Murray
Monday, March 8, 2010
Be whole-hearted for Him!
"Listen, son. Half-hearted christians are the most miserable of all. They know enough to feel guilty, but they haven't gone far enough in Christ to be happy. Be whole-hearted for Him."
- Ray Ortlund Sr.
This quote really hit me because this has been so true in my life. Honestly I felt a bit ashamed to even write anything on this journal due to the title I had given: "finding extraordinary in the ordinary." Recently rather than being able to see God's grace in the ordinary things of life, I have been blinded to see even the big blessings in my life, had only been filling myself with ingratitude. And sadly, I can't say with confidence that I am all grateful now, that my heart has been fully renewed to start seeing these amazing touches of God in me and in the world around me. I need to be whole-hearted for Him.
- Ray Ortlund Sr.
This quote really hit me because this has been so true in my life. Honestly I felt a bit ashamed to even write anything on this journal due to the title I had given: "finding extraordinary in the ordinary." Recently rather than being able to see God's grace in the ordinary things of life, I have been blinded to see even the big blessings in my life, had only been filling myself with ingratitude. And sadly, I can't say with confidence that I am all grateful now, that my heart has been fully renewed to start seeing these amazing touches of God in me and in the world around me. I need to be whole-hearted for Him.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Autobiography by Portia Nelson
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost—I am helpless
It isn’t my fault
It takes forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in—it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
